39 Things I’ve Learned at 39: Mental Health, Growth, and Chaos

Laura Rose
Jul 14
4 min read

Where did the time go? I’ve suddenly hit 39 without any notice (okay, maybe a little notice…). One year short of the big 4-0, and yet I’m oddly relieved. If my 20s were about being burnt out and mentally destroyed, my 30s have been about rebuilding myself and my life, sometimes with glitter and sparkles thrown in. As a mental health author, I’m all about honesty and awkward truths. So, here are 39 things I’ve learned at 39 years young.

1. Perfection doesn’t exist…

Spoiler alert: Perfection is for robots, not humans.

2. And striving for perfection is a total waste of time.

Being authentic tops being perfect every time.

3. Do what makes you happy—even if it’s wearing “anxious cat” socks to Comic-cons.

I’m a total geek, and my socks have a scared-looking cat on them that says “anxious but cute”. I love them. Actually, I love silly socks. I have a pair that says “I’m a delicate f!*%$&g flower”, which I also love. Random? Yes.

4. Life’s too short to waste.

Prioritise joy and happiness.

5. Being different isn’t a bad thing.

I am loud, messy, and unapologetically me.

6. Comparison makes me miserable

It really is the thief of joy.

7. Fudge and chocolate will always bring a smile to my face

What can I say? I’m a sugar lover.

8. I will have my ups and downs - and that’s OK.

Changing moods make me human.

9. Self-care looks different for everyone.

Mine is not a bubble bath in a pink-lit mansion. Sometimes it’s painting my nails, other times it’s feeling the grass between my toes.

10. Saying “I don’t know” is powerful.

It’s ok not to have all the answers, even at 39.

11. Crochet and knitting aren’t just for grandmas.

I do both, and love them. Sometimes while drinking tea. And eating chocolate. It gets messy.

12. I’m good at some things—and terrible at others.

And that’s fine.

13. Fidget toys are for adults, too.

I have three within arm’s reach right now. It’s regulation.

14. Time moves fast.

A little too fast, sometimes. But I cannot stop time, and I have to accept that.

15. Emotions are messy.

And so am I.

16. It’s okay to not be zen 24/7.

I have a bit of a scattered brain and struggle with calmness. Although if I have my knitting in my hand, I feel much more chilled.

17. Rest is productive.

And I should really rest more instead of berating myself over it.

18. I love gardening, now that I actually have a garden.

There’s something wonderful about watching things grow. That includes me.

19. My ‘why’ shapes my life.

Publishing books is lovely, but why do I do it? To connect. To be honest. To help others. To share stories that are too often left in the dark.

20. I’m grateful for every strange, difficult, beautiful experience.

Even the moments of sobbing uncontrollably and snottily into a teddy gave me something. They are all part of my story.

21. I love LEGO and I always will.

Creating something brick by brick is wonderful – even if I do accidentally step on one later and swear. Very loudly.

22. Sometimes I just want to block out the world.

Sometimes I want to hibernate from everyone and everything. Other times, I crave to be in the middle of the chaos, colour, and connection.

23. It’s okay to reinvent yourself at 39…or 90.

I’m always changing, always in motion. Never a completed work of art.

24. It’s fine to have loads of hobbies.

I’m multi-passionate about many things.

25. I’m learning to love myself, just the way I am.

Because…I’m already good enough. Even in funky socks.

26. Tea is essential, even on a hot summer’s day.

Enough said.

27. I’m allowed to take up space in the world.

Books, rooms, conversations: I exist and am valid.

28. Some music is magic.

Whether it’s classical, rock, or 8D audio online to help calm the ADHD chaos, there’s something for every occasion.

29. Sometimes, all I need is a hug.

And it’s ok for me to ask for one.

30. Carpal tunnel syndrome sucks.

As a writer, it’s currently my greatest enemy.

31. Asking for help is a strength.

It’s better than suffering in silence.

32. I don’t have to hustle to prove my worth.

Rest isn’t lazy.

33. With age comes wisdom…sometimes.

Sometimes, it also comes with laughter lines, even more questions than answers, and a love for napping in the sun.

34. I am allowed to change my mind.

About the small stuff, the big stuff, and everything in between.

35. I don’t have to have it all figured out.

Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual. But if it did, I probably would have accidentally thrown it out or spilt cola all over it.

36. There’s beauty in the mundane.

Tea mugs, dust on shelves, the sound of your own breathing; find the beauty anywhere.

37. You’re as old as you feel.

Sounds cute, but my Ehlers Danlos hypermobility sometimes makes me feel like I’m 60!

38. Growing older doesn’t mean growing more boring.

I feel curious, creative, chaotic, and completely alive.

39. Being 39 is pretty great.

Age is just a number. Another year around the sun. A new chapter in my life’s book.

So, there you have it. 39 things I’ve learned at 39 years of age. 39 lessons later, still stumbling, still learning, a work in progress. Here's to choosing honesty, chocolate, tea, and unapologetic humanity over perfection.