ADHD, Creativity, and the Struggle to Finish What I Start

I didn’t expect to be diagnosed with ADHD at 38 years old. I just assumed I was quirky – I’d start creative projects with a passion but struggle when it came to finishing them, fall in love with a hobby intensely to then switch to something completely different, and having a constantly active anxious mind. But now, hearing this diagnosis and reading up on it more, it kind of all makes sense.

As a writer I totally embrace creativity, but consistency is something I really struggle with. I have so many ideas that come up for books, poems, art, crafts, but I get distracted before I can finish them. It’s not just with creativity either – I struggle with housework and keeping focussed on work. I just assumed I was in possession of a fast-functioning brain that wanted to multitask to the extreme. My friend once got me a t-shirt that said, ‘I was going to take over the world, but then I saw something shiny”, and it suited me perfectly! I get distracted by new things easily. But then I feel sad and frustrated about all the things I can’t finish or get done. I have a cardigan I knitted that is nearly finished, it’s just missing an arm. It’s been missing that arm for 3 years now, I just can’t seem to get it finished. It feels like the story of my life sometimes.

I guess I’d always associated ADHD with the typical overactive child stereotype, which apparently I was but I just don’t remember it. But although I don’t see myself as fitting the typical stereotype, I guess I do in a lot of ways. I am impulsive in the way I talk and blurt things out and interrupt people. My brain is like a hamster on a wheel – constantly turning and running as fast as it can. I have to-do lists as long as…well…a really long thing, but they never get finished. I also fidget. A lot. I tap my fingers and jiggle my legs constantly. I’ve just always been that way, these little movements are a part of me, but I never connected any of this to ADHD. Now, when I look back, I can see the signs easily. Hindsight really is wonderful.

I’ve been reflecting on my writing journey in light of the ADHD diagnosis, and realise that’s why I struggle to create a solid writing routine. I usually wait until I’m ‘in the zone’ and then get a load of writing done, I’m talking about 12 hours straight, forgetting to eat and drink, things like that. However, now I know that is something called ‘hyperfocus’ which is an ADHD thing. I’m not going to berate myself constantly anymore for not being consistent with my writing (which is what I usually do). My brain works on it’s own creative schedule, and that’s ok.

I want to learn more about ADHD. I want to learn to work to my strengths, not against them. I’m looking at new routines to help me when I want to focus, different ways of motivating myself to get tasks done. I need to stop fighting against my own mind, and try to start working with it.

I know I’m only at the start of this journey – I was diagnosed one week ago – but for the first time, I might be able to understand my brain’s patterns more clearly. And as a writer, I’m keen to see how this story unfolds.

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If you’re interested in reading a memoir or some poetry, why not check out my books on Amazon or Kindle Unlimited? I’m Not That Depressed is a memoir about living with depression, and Reflections of Imperfections is my book of poems on self-love and compassion. Find them here.